Doctor Success, Pie Good-bye, Date Fail

Saturday, December 4

The girlies have upped their morning game. They used to come into our room and then we'd usher them to our closet, where they could read to their heart's content (we have a big bookshelf in there). But I recently moved the babydoll cradle and all other baby doll stuff into the closet as well...and that has given them some ideas. This morning, I awoke to an entire hospital in my closet. Emma, Alice, and Lucy were ALL in doctor outfits with makeshift hospital beds and little baby dolls all around the closet and my room. Doctor Emma was taking notes while Nurse Alice dutifully did whatever Emma asked, and Lucy played along with them. It was so cute to see them all playing together.

The hospital stretched all the way from our bedroom closet to the girls' bedroom. Here is Lucy with her little cape.

Off she goes! Probably to help a hurt or sad baby doll.

Yep, off to our bedroom she goes.

Oh. Hmm. Maybe it wasn't the baby doll after all - just the need to ride a horse. That also somehow made it up to our room while Dallas and I were still sleeping. Let this be a lesson to us - don't sleep in! The girls bring the ENTIRE basement up to our room!

Okay, let's go found out what Dallas is doing on this fine Saturday morning. Yum! Making pie! Unfortunately, I believe this is the Saturday that we didn't eat any pie because this pie wasn't for us. Dallas promised whoever completed his crossword first would get a pie - and Dallas' brother won. So, Dallas made a delicious apple pie and shipped it New Jersey. Atta boy, Dallas, way to stick to your word. I probably would not have done something like this - but when Dallas says he'll do something, he does it.

Happy Mabel in her little highchair with the bib my mom helped me make. Best bibs ever. An old dish rag with a hole in the middle for the babe's head.

And here's me and sweet Olive. I went on a run this morning but I have no memory of how far I went. I usually try to go for long runs on Saturdays...so hopefully I did on this one.

Ah yes. That is a beautiful pie.

Alice in her doctor/nurse jacket, complete with lots of bows and hair clips.

Just another reminder of this pie. All you who don't live near us really should move here. Or at least come visit. Dallas will make you a pie.

So, this Saturday really started out well and had the makings of being a spectacular Saturday. But around 1:00 p.m., I began to feel anxious/frustrated. Our house was a disaster and the same to-do's that had been on my list for weeks were STILL not done. Every week I keep thinking, "This week I'll get these things done." And then when it doesn't happen during the week, I think, "No worries, I'll get it done on Saturday when Dallas is here." And then it STILL doesn't happen and the whole thing starts over again with, "It's okay - it'll happen this NEXT week." 

Anyway, this Saturday was apparently the last straw. Sometime after lunch, I looked around the house and realized not only had nothing been crossed off the to-do list, but about ten ba-jillion MORE things needed to get done. The house was a disaster and Dallas and I were supposed to go on a date around 5 p.m. 

I told Dallas how I felt and he suggested I go shopping or on a walk and he and the girls would clean the house. I said no way. I would prefer for all of them to leave and I would clean the house myself. I felt like there were so many things that needed to be done and I knew how I wanted it done and if I could have a couple dedicated hours all to myself, I could do it. So, they left. The girls needed to get a birthday gift for Hannah, so I recommended they go to Five & Below and Target.

Dallas stayed out with the girls for about three hours and I got a lot done. Not everything, but enough that I felt in a much better place and like I could go on a date and not feel frustrated the whole time. (I was also tired of waking up Sunday mornings with our house a disaster and really didn't want that to happen again - so getting it all clean before our date helped me feel like at least I could wake up to a clean house on Sunday).

While I was home cleaning I had started to think about our date and was feeling like maybe we shouldn't go Christmas shopping like we'd planned. I felt like we already had quite a few things and I didn't want to buy anything just to buy it (i.e. so there would be STUFF in stockings, etc.) I wanted useful, meaningful gifts and I didn't feel like that would happen at random stores on a December Saturday night. Plus, I felt like Dallas and I really just needed a chance to interact with each other - not run more errands. Plus plus, Dallas REALLY does not enjoy shopping. 

I remember the first time I went shopping with him. We had been dating just a bit when he admitted he was in desperate need of some new jeans. We went into a nearby store (Kohl's) and made it maybe three minutes before he was pulling on his collar saying he needed to get out. Since then, I have bought a very specific pair of Lucky jeans for him whenever they are on sale at Costco. Pants problem solved.

Anyway, those three reasons (not wanting to buy more stuff, wanting to spend quality time with Dallas, and knowing he disliked shopping), I figured that when he got home, I would offer a different suggestion for our date. To my surprise, Dallas replied, "Let's stick with our plan! I think it will be good to be done with all the Christmas shopping right now." To be fair, I did not share with Dallas my reasons for not going. I just said, "Hey, do you still want to do Christmas shopping tonight? Or we could go out to eat?" And I was so surprised with his response, I figured he must really be excited about the shopping so I left`it at that. He did say, "Let's see how fast we can do the Christmas shopping and if there's time, we'll grab something to eat."

We dropped off our three oldest girls at a friends and brought the babies with us. We figured pushing two babies around in a stroller would be a lot easier than leaving our friend with TEN kids under eight. The babes were great. They were definitely not the fail. The fail was choosing to do errands. Sure enough, stocking stuffers were all just stuff and there were tons of people at the stores and Dallas and I didn't really get quality time together. I felt like it was something I could have done online or on my own. 

By the time we went to two stores, it was 6:45 p.m. and we had planned to pick up the kids around 7:00 p.m. "Do you still want to try and grab something to eat?" I asked Dallas. "Sure. Where do you want to go?" The million dollar question. There was a new sandwich place that I thought I'd read had gluten-free options and it was right next to us. We found a parking spot, got the babes out, and went in to check out the menu. Nope. Not a single gluten-free item. Well, Dallas could get a salad with no croutons. Dallas encouraged me to get something but I felt bad getting some yummy, fancy sandwich when all he could get was a salad.

We walked out and now it really was almost 7:00 p.m. Dallas drove around a bit more, but we didn't see anywhere else we wanted to go. I texted our friend and found out the kids had just started a movie. We decided to go home and eat leftovers and pick up the kids around 7:30. The leftovers were actually super yummy but Dallas and I were both in a pretty cranky mood by then. Remember he had already shopped for three hours with the girls earlier in the day and I had gotten myself excited to not run errands and instead have a simple dinner with Dallas, but never really told him that. So I definitely had unfulfilled expectations and felt like we had just wasted our chance for a quality date. 

After finishing the meal, I left Dallas with the twins and went to get the girls. I ended up visiting with our friend for a bit, then I also picked up a FB marketplace item that was near our house. So, I was gone for more than the expected 5 minutes. It was more like 20 minutes and when I came home, babies were crying and Dallas looked exhausted. He took the girls upstairs and got them ready for bed while I nursed the babies and got them ready for bed. The babes fell asleep and Dallas was still working with the girls. So I went downstairs to start cleaning the kitchen. I was hopeful that we could still salvage the night. 

I imagined us pulling out all the gifts we'd been stashing away in our closet plus the few we'd bought this night. We'd turn on some Christmas music and decide which gifts were for which girl, if we needed to return any, if there was anything else we needed to get, etc. I know, it sounds like more errands, but I was actually looking forward to doing this with Dallas. 

I kept washing the dishes and was just about to turn on a podcast or call someone (makes cleaning the kitchen way more fun) when Dallas came down from getting the girls to sleep. Sweet! Now we could finish up the kitchen together and then get onto the presents and maybe even watch a show together! But Dallas plopped down on the couch in the front room. The way our house is set up, once he sits on that couch, I cannot see him from the sink. I figured he was reading his kindle though, so I decided to not to call anyone or turn on a podcast. 

At first, I was fine. But as time passed and I heard nothing from Dallas, I started to feel frustrated. I had finished the dishes and decided to go out to the car and grab the presents. When I did, I could see Dallas and saw that he was just SITTING there. Not even reading. I could have been listening to podcasts, or talking to family, or talking to HIM! I tried to not get angry and asked him, "What are you thinking about?" To which he didn't really give much of a response. I went back out for more stuff from the car. I came back in and again, he was sitting on the couch. I then got out the paper towels and spray to start mopping the floor on my hands and knees. I was now at a level of SUPER CRANKY. I think I said something to Dallas like, "Well, if you're not reading or thinking about anything, want to at least talk to me?!" That's when he got off the couch and came around and saw me crouched down, cleaning the floor. 

"Do you want me to help?" Dallas asked while reaching for the paper towels and spray in my hands. I am embarrassed that I reacted the way I did, but I yanked them back from him and shouted, "No!" Dallas and I don't usually yell at each other. He looked super surprised at my response. I was too. Why did I suddenly get so mean and cranky? I refused to let him help me. 

This is getting super long. I am not sure you really want a play by play of this entire evening. Let me cut to the end and say - there was plenty of miscommunication and tired parents. Dallas was dead tired from having been up all night with the babies and the kids that keep hopping in our bed. Nighttime often involves Dallas carrying children back to their bed and sometimes even sleeping with Lucy part of the night in her toddler bed. And if I need help with the twins, he's up with me for that too. And remember the three hours of walking around shopping with five kids under five? He had done that today as well. And he figured since he had offered to help me earlier in the day and I had told him, "I just want time to clean things the way I want them cleaned." He assumed I still wanted to clean things my way. So he was sitting on the couch resting while he let me clean things my way. Complete misunderstanding on both our parts and by not talking with him while cleaning, I just kept getting crankier and crankier.

Honestly, Dallas is way better at not getting cranky and forgiving and moving forward than I am. I still needed some time to myself - so I curled up on the fluffy rug in the girls' bathroom and listened to Dallas pulling out all the stuff from our closet. I cried a bit and prayed a bit but mostly just wanted to stay angry. Not sure why. Finally I realized, that was ridiculous and I did not want to be this way or treat Dallas this way. What I really wanted was to be out there with him, going through those presents and just being with him. So why don't I just do it? I said a little prayer that I was sorry and asked for help to  be kind and loving to Dallas and finally got up. 

I felt a little awkward and embarrassed at first, but Dallas was happy to see me and quick to forgive and move forward. We just started talking about normal things and pretty soon, we were enjoying each other's company. We even topped it with off with watching a little Trevor Noah to keep us laughing.